Behind Blue Eyes
by Faith Hunter Jounouchi
Summary: Seto Kaiba has the worst day of his life at work, now he comes home and is afraid that Jounouchi will leave him for what happend. Plz R&R. Very angsty!


Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, why must I remind myself, oh yeah, because I don't want to be sued for the money I don't have!!! I do not own the song, Limp Bizkit does. I do however own the couple's baby, Jayson Katsuya Seto Kaiba.

Author's Note: I like writing Song Fics so, here is yet another Song Fic I have created. Enjoy!!!!

Warning: The couple has a baby!!!!

Behind Blue Eyes 

_No one knows what it's like_

_  
To be the bad man_

_  
To be the sad man_

_  
Behind blue eyes_

It was seven-thirty on a Friday summer evening when the young CEO of Kaiba Corp, Seto Kaiba tiredly trudged through the front door to his humble mansion. He sighed and leaned against the door as he closed it behind him, he dropped his metal briefcase to the hard wood floor and closed his, at the moment, weary blue-gray eyes. It was rare for Seto to come home like this, yeah he was tired when he got home but he never **EVER** felt defeated. Like work had eaten him alive. All he could think about were all the bad things that had happened today. How was he going to tell Katsuya…what had happened?

And no one knows what it's like 

_  
To be hated_

_  
To be fated to telling only lies_

He loved Katsuya Jounouchi with all his heart, and there was no doubt in his soul, mind, or body that he loved and adored the son Jou had given him only a year ago, little Jayson Katsuya Seto Kaiba. Seto finally had a family of his own to care for and then something like this had to happen. Would Katsuya understand? "Damn it, he should!!!! It wasn't my fault at all…but…" Kaiba slid down his front door and sat on the hard wood floor. Why was he so afraid? The brunette cradled his upper right arm then lifted his sleeve to glance at the baseball-sized bruise they had left him. He had been raped, forced into sex he didn't want or approve of, now he felt dirty and lost to himself.

Earlier this week, Kaiba had fired the last female personal assistant he would ever have, she was always begging Kaiba to leave Jounouchi and the baby and disappear with her or begging for him to at least have intercourse with her. He refused every time with an angered passion until he fired her and reported sexual harassment. He thought that would teach her but she came back at him ten times as hard, and took from him what only he shared with Katsuya. It wrecked his body and his mind, to the untrained eye you probably couldn't see that his knees were weak and his step was shaky. He was talented at controlling his emotions on the outside but on the inside, he was falling apart. "What I am going to tell Katsuya?" A sneeze from the upstairs brought Seto out of his thoughts it was Jayson. The brunette smiled at the thought of his son and soon to be husband (or wife, which ever you prefer to call Jou).

He wanted to see his beloved puppy and precious baby boy but felt like he couldn't quite yet hold either of them in his arms. He needed to cleanse himself of the physical violation first, then the emotional.

_But my dreams they aren't as empty_

_  
As my conscious seems to be_

_  
I have hours, only lonely_

_  
My love is vengeance_

With a heavy heart and an empty soul Seto drug himself up the staircase and into the bathroom down the hall from his and Jou's private bath. No sense in dirtying their shared spaces. What was Katsuya going to think of him? Would he belittle him and laugh in his face? Or would he weep for his beloved? Seto wasn't sure at the moment. Seto undressed and turned the hot water on full blast, letting the liquid kill unwanted memories. He sighed heavily and hung his head. The water may have been hot but it felt cold to him, everything was topsy-turvy: black was white, up was down, and right was wrong. "For the love of Ra, I need you right now Jounouchi." In all Seto's young life, he never had felt so wrong or afraid. This was going to be hard to overcome without Katsuya's help. He felt like he had been thrown in a cage and locked away from the life he wanted to have, the normal one he woke up with this morning, and the one he had last night when he and Katsuya had made love.

_That's never free_

_  
No one knows what it's like_

_  
To feel these feelings_

_  
Like I do, and I blame you (you...you...you)_

'Why should I feel so afraid and ashamed, it wasn't I that attacked her, she attacked me, out of vengeance and pure hatred for my love of my family. Katsuya should understand, it's all her fault that I am like this, she's to blame, not I!!!' Kaiba's mind called to him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he was right but the fear of telling Jou lingered in his heart. He couldn't lie to Jou; he had to tell him what had happened.

Seto washed himself thoroughly, twice, then stepped out of the bathtub, dried, and wrapped his lower body with a towel. He wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at himself, and after a moment he decided he wouldn't let this break him, he wouldn't let it defeat him.

_No one bites back as hard_

_  
On their anger_

_  
None of my pain woe_

_  
Can show through (through...through)_

Grabbing a towel to work on drying his hair, Seto exited the bathroom and walked cautiously down the hall back to the bedroom he and Katsuya shared. The blue eyed teen stood at the partly opened bedroom door, how he hoped the blonde would be asleep, he wasn't quite ready to face Jou. He inhaled then quietly walked in, no voice had come and he quickly went to his closet for some nightclothes and dressed. He chose some black silk pajamas, it fit his mood at the moment and it seemed appropriate. Again, he inhaled before walking back into the bedroom from the closet. Finally his eyes saw what his heart longed for, Katsuya and Jayson sleeping peacefully on the bed. Seto smiled weakly, and then went over to them. He gently touched and caressed Jou's soft-featured face without waking him. Seto then softly rubbed his baby son's back. He thought about how impressed he was that the baby shared his and Jou's features so equally. Jayson had beautiful crystal blue eyes that shown with all the happiness of a baby and all the joy of the world, his hair was a mixture of his and Katsuya's, golden blonde kissed with the sun weaved and intertwined with warm cinnamon majestically. Jayson also inherited Katsuya's goofy grin and heart-warming laugh, toped with the Kaiba intelligence and Mokuba's fun personality. He was one well-rounded little boy. This was Seto's long life dream, his own little family: Mokuba, Jayson, and Katsuya, what more could he want?

_But my dreams they aren't as empty_

_  
As my conscious seems to be_

_  
I have hours, only lonely_

_  
My love is vengeance_

_  
That's never free_

Right now…all Kaiba wanted was to simply hold his baby son in his arms and weep into his puppy's shoulder. Slowly and carefully Seto sat on the bed then took Jayson into his arms, kissing his forehead then laying the baby against his body. Next, the brunette stole a kiss from the precious lips that sit stilled by sleep. Katsuya felt the heat and the realism and woke. "Seto…hey baby." Katsuya said softly and lovingly while bringing a smile to his lips. "Hey." Kaiba said back. Katsuya gently tugged the shirt of the brunette's pajamas and they kissed again…but to Jou it wasn't the same as the rest of the kisses they had shared so many times before. The kiss revealed to the blonde the nervousness and fright in the young CEO's body. They pulled away and Katsuya became concerned with the saddened look in his lover's eyes. "Seto…what's wrong? Are you sick?" Jou asked while sitting up and feeling the brunette's forehead and cheeks for sings of a fever.

_No one knows what it's like_

_  
To be mistreated_

_  
To be defeated_

_  
Behind blue eyes (blue eyes...blue eyes)_

As Seto let Katsuya feel for sickness, the sickness he wished he had, tears began to form in his eyes. This incident was really tearing him apart, he had to tell Jou, but he was so afraid…but why? This was Katsuya, the one he was going to marry in two months, the very person who gave him his happy and healthy baby boy…why couldn't he just come out and say it? 'Katsuya…I was rapped today.' Was that really that hard? It was extremely difficult.

"Well, Seto you're not sick, you don't have a fever anyway." Jou finally said. Seto looked up to his lover and Jou felt his heartbreak. "Seto…honey…what's wrong?" The blonde eased with his voice. "I…I…I had a horrible day at work." Seto said while tears flowed down his cheeks. Katsuya took the sleeping baby from Kaiba and laid him down on the bed then embraced his love. "I'll say, it must have really took a toll on you to make you cry. What happened?"

"I…I can't tell you Katsuya." Seto wept into Jou's chest. "Shhhh…you can tell me anything and everything, you know I'll listen, that's why I'm here. Now, tell me, what happened." Katsuya soothed. The blonde could tell his lover was struggling with this decision, what ever he had to say must be really important, especially if it effected Seto like this. "Katsuya, I'm sorry…I really am, I am no good any more, I'm ruined, tainted, broken, whatever you will." Seto's voice cried. "Seto come on tell me, stop speaking in riddles…you know I love you…no matter what." Katsuya felt he should reassure Seto of that…something inside him just begged for him to do so.

_And no one knows how to say_

_  
That they're sorry and don't worry_

_  
I'm not telling lies (lies...lies)_

The brunette lifted his eyes so that they met the golden honey hue of his lover's. "Katsuya…I …I was raped today." Jou felt his body jerk in shock and his heart literally shatter into pieces; he was silenced. The uneasy silence made Seto break down, "You can do as you wish now, belittle me, leave me, or laugh at me." Katsuya let tears of hurt and sadness fall quickly down his face. "Oh Seto!!!" Jou cried in horror as he quickly embraced his broken lover. Seto was surprised that Jou had stayed but…it should have been obvious. Seto was Katsuya's one and only, if he hadn't truly loved him, Jou wouldn't have allowed Seto to get him pregnant.

"Why Seto…why would I leave you for that? This is the time when you need me most, when we need each other most." Katsuya explained to the devastated teen in his arms. Kaiba said nothing but clung tighter to the blonde before him, further soaking Katsuya's nightshirt. "Who did this to you Seto, who would treat you so cruelly when everyone knows you have a family at home?"

"Kimia and three of her friends." Seto answered. "The girl you fired on Monday?" Jou asked surprised. Seto nodded. "Well rest easy love, we are going to get through this together. We'll report this first thing tomorrow." Seto, in his heart couldn't feel the easiness in his body like Katsuya could, he felt like he had broken everything he had promised to the blonde puppy. His heart was breaking for really no reason at all; Katsuya still loved him and was even with him now.

"How can you love me the same Katsuya? I am dirty, no longer pure in spirit." Seto said. The blonde shook his head, "Don't let this live you Seto, this incident doesn't make you impure or dirty, if you let it take you like you are now, you will eventually become those things which you fear. Your soul still resides within your body and your heart still beats for me, your love of us together is still here. You are still the man I fell in love with Seto, regardless of what has happened to you today." Katsuya said before kissing the top of the brunette's head. Those words are what brought him back to life, to hear that Katsuya would love him no matter what, it was true or he would never had agreed to marry the CEO or give life to his baby.

The couple felt the bed shift and a faint voice come. They looked behind Katsuya's shoulder and found a baby rubbing his eyes. The baby finally made eye contact with his parents and smiled warmly then crawled to them, instantly wanting the attention of his father, Seto. Jayson held out his arms to Seto and whined. "Some one missed Daddy today hu?" Katsuya grinned at his son. Seto smiled and without hesitation, lifted Jayson into his arms and kissed his cheek.

_But my dreams they aren't as empty_

_  
As my conscious seems to be_

_  
I have hours, only lonely_

_  
My love is vengeance_

_  
That's never free  
_

"You are my true love, the man I am going to marry, and the Father of our child, and I will always be here for you. You have done so much for me, opened up to me when you hated the world and trusted me with your most personal secrets when those you thought you knew were out to kill you and steal your company, we have been through so much together, don't you ever forget that I love you Seto Kaiba." Katsuya said to his beloved blue-eyed dragon. With that Seto brought his lips to Katsuya's and he indulged himself in what he loved the most, Jou's sweet and calming kisses. Though, reassured that Katsuya would never leave him, his heart still felt heavy and his body still felt is had been betrayed. Would he ever be the same again? No one would ever know what it was like.

_No one knows what it's like_

_  
To be the bad man_

_  
To be the sad man_

_  
Behind blue eyes_

Author's Note: So how was that? I'm not too sure about this one but all that matters is if my readers liked it. Please R&R!!!!!!!!!_  
_

_**  
**_

_  
_ _**  
**  
_

_  
_**  
**_  
_


End file.
